For most of us happiness is a state of achievement through luck or because of some great event. We feel that we can only be happy ‘if I had a BMW or a CK wrist watch.’ Consider this as a free piece of advice, that the thought ‘I will be happy if …’ is the biggest lie ever told to self.
Happiness, apart from being a noun is a state of being, more like a decision to be made. A person with no shelter and one meal a day can be happy as long as he decides to be so. A king can be unhappy with all his palaces and richness. The difference is that the poor man took a mental initiative, to stay happy, ‘no matter what’.
Most of our lives we wait for good things to happen to us that will make us happy momentarily. This again is another flaw in the frame of thought. Happiness is not momentary. It is a part of a person’s nature. So ‘no matter-‘ or our ”what ifs-‘ are the general blockages to our minds. These too are self created.
There is another thing to it too. You can only give happiness if you yourself are happy. It should be noted however that, happiness is not the same as contentment. Man after all was never given the gift of contentment. But he has the gift of free will, which can allow him to be happy.
You might be under going an open heart surgery but still you could be happy, not because you are sure you will live through it, although positive thinking has its advantages, but it is not the only thing contributing to happiness.
Having a positive attitude takes you as far as the road goes, meaning till the next mountain in your life. But happiness is addictive, it is like a parasite feeding off the main tree, but in this case the parasite and tree both depend on each other. These are foundations for one another.
In pursuit of our happiness we make our lives difficult. We chase dreams and complicated luxuries. We forget however, that the exuberances may add a trifle to our life, again momentarily, but it will not necessarily make us happy.
Happiness can be found in simple things too. For example, having a routinely family dinner can be a source of great pleasure, playing with your grandchildren could be fun, or simply reading a book could exercise your laughing lines.
Simplicity can be a root to happiness. Greed therefore would become its enemy. For if you are chasing paper money 24/7, it will make you very stressful and hardly bring you close to happiness, because a stressful life will never see the glimpse of happiness.
Indulging in simple pleasures can bring happiness to life. Eating golgappas, or chatting with an old friend too could bring up the bar of happiness.
Still, having said that happiness is not a momentary experience, it’s more of a way of life, a secondary developed personality trait. It is when you put down your foot to life and say, ‘I will be happy’. And having said thus, the spark of positive attitude will take us to this different country which knows no fear of the world.
So, in the end you could be bankrupt and not be too stressed about it, not because it isn’t a big deal, hell, you’ve lost everything you worked for, but then that is where the problems begin. We spend more time building a world of fake colours around us that we forget to work on our internal selves and enjoy those colours.
For that reason, my advice to you would be if you want to make the decision of staying happy, you need to learn to keep your internal equilibrium in check. That equilibrium becomes your happy weather which you carry along with you at all times. A drop of good humour also helps see the lighter side of life, and hence keep you happy.
I believe that the word ‘happiness’ is under described. Everyone talks about it. But you will hardly find anyone who might actually be it, or it should be said, someone who is living the ultimate dream.
Talking about dreams, the American dream of being rich and famous is an oldie. What this dream lacks, is a vision and a decision to be happy. People forget that the higher they rise in the world the more stress they will feel and the unhappier they will be.
The only ingredient in happiness is one thing and that is your mind set. Everywhere around there is so much of desolation that even the witty TV programs these days can not drop out the grave criticism in them.
We need to tune our minds to the happy-o-meter. And then daily we should measure it. If you can keep up the average 75% of happiness in your tread, you would have done a great job.
Once the decision is made you will notice that the bare necessities are enough to channel positive thinking and attitude. Also, do not mistake me. When making the decision to be happy becomes a reverting milestone in your life, it would not mean that you would be shirking off your responsibilities, nor does it mean that there will be zero worrying spells. In actuality what is important is not why you fell, but how you got up. Like in literature a line goes, ‘go mad as often as you feel, but never faint.’
Happiness could have been a thought, but thoughts have a tendency to change. For that reason I believe to be happy and to stay happy, one needs a natural inkling of the brighter side of the moon. If happiness was achieved at the price of a summer yatch or a diamond ring, then all the famous and rich celebrities wouldn’t be having meltdowns every few weeks.
At the same time, being a decision making business, happiness is also a pursuit. It is a constant battle between stress and worries as enemies and this is a constant struggle. By struggle I mean happiness is not found as manosalwa in the form of a plate of fruit, but it needs to be fought for and won over.
It should be understood by those who wish to stay happy, that it is these constant battles between sorrows and malaise, that happiness is to be beseeched right from under the clawy paw of the malicious lion.
But above all, the most important thing that remains is that when the decision is made one should be ready to fight off any threat to the wellbeing. After all, your bucket of happiness will be glared at and envied. People will try to pry and will do their best to tip it over. But as long as you are armored in a knightly hue, no one can make you miserable without your own consent.
Struggles too will become as a second nature and you will shrug off any vileness that threatens your will to be happy. So, live, and survive to stay happy.