Recently I have realised that I lack the knack of discipline. Yes when I went to preschool they taught me how to sit in a chair and not run about the class room. Later in kindrgarten they taught me how to speak politely and not yell and throw a tantrum when I wanted something.
They also taught me how to say ‘please’ and ‘thank ‘you’. Through out my education there was a reward and punishment system intact so as to make me a better ‘man’. At home was no different. I learnt to be ‘nice’, ‘well behaved’, ‘groomed’.
The world had done its job right and proper. They all had a hand in making me a literate, educated person. No more a cave man, no more like the kids in the streets who had no idea that to steal food and fill their starving tummies was a bad bad thing. They (the world) beleived I was finally disciplined, a better person, a better human being.
However,I realised that discipline had nothing to do with kindergarten and college. It had nothing to do with learning to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. The social conditioning had only one aim, only one purpose. To make sure that I fitted in with the rest of the ‘disciplined’ class.
I sadly realised that my mind was not a disciplined place at all. And hence my actions, my decisions, everything that I have been doing for the last thirty years has been nothing but chaotic. So perplexed and helpless I tried to Google how to discipline the mind. You would be surprised to know what I learnt.
The search results showed that yoga was a great way to discipline the mind and so was meditation. Without tying to brag, yes I occasionally do yoga and meditate. Without a teacher though, but I do it nonetheless. I also leant something else. I found out that every method to discipline the mind and hence yourself was one form of spirituality or another.
So to my utter disbelief I learnt that if I wished to discipline myself especially the mind I ought to go back to spirituality. Find the truth within so that I may be in peace enough to be disciplined in the head. I learnt that my degree did me no good as a person. I learn that thank you and please were never a standard of being groomed. Maybe they are in the artificial social ambience and perhaps that will always be the standard there. But I learnt that to be disciplined, I needed to embark on a spiritual journey not go to kinegarten.